Lord Vishnu? Please Press One

Professor Amardeep Singh maintains a blog of his own. In addition to erudite analysis of literature and some stunning photos of India, he recently observed that a large bank in India was offering automated blessings from their ATM machines. The devout can dispatch tithes to the temple of their choice with push button ease. Professor Singh goes on to speculate about further uses of the ATM machine such as marriage by ATM as well as divorce.

If this came to pass, the impact on noir fiction and country music, just to name a few areas of culture, would be swift and profound. The novel would be called SEVEN-ELEVEN DAMES. Billy Ray stops in for a Big Gulp, can’t remember his pin number, and marries the store clerk to discover she’s on the lam from an ARCO mini-mart. His truck breaks down near the Grand Canyon. Luckily they’re divorced at a Shell station; you get a free divorce with every fill up.

The country song would be entitled THREE TIME LOSER. She can’t marry the man she loves because her pin number has been rejected three times.

Over time I’m sure we’d adapt to this advance in technology. The long line outside the bank might frustrating, but hey, there are a lot of buttons to push. English? Espanol? Renewing your vows?